Monday, September 9, 2013

Revamp

Well, this is nice. My new blog layout and colors are quite pleasing, if I do say so myself. Why the revamp, you ask? It's simple. Right now, my life is going through a revamp. I've heard that word "revamp" used over and over again, but never really thought about what it meant. According to the OED (typical definition reference--yes, I am that cliche) the word revamp can be defined as thus:

revamp:

To give a new and improved form, structure, or appearance to; to renovate; to overhaul; to revise.

 In my case, I felt that a renovation or revision of my blog's appearance and purpose was in order. The reason behind this sudden overhaul (yes, I can use big words from the dictionary!) is simply that I had a recent realization that my life is about to change drastically. I am on a precipice of human experience, as my college graduation will occur next June and probably babies soon(ish) thereafter. Now before you judge me or assume that I am another baby-hungry female provo-ite, stop.  
Note: at times people feel they should or shouldn't have children at any given time. Either way, it is none of our business, just a very personal decision. The end. 

Whew. Glad we got that out of the way. As I was saying, there are big things in the future. Something else for my readers to keep in mind is that although I am soon to finish my undergraduate education, my spouse is a college freshman and will continue on to complete a Master's degree leaving him with...5+ years left of school. Yay for education, right? Well, yes. But how to tackle the age-old young Mormon married couple question: How can we have kids and balance that with school/careers/etc? Oh, if only the answer were that simple. 

When this question comes to my mind, however, I think of a quote I've heard that states, "God can't steer a parked car." This reminds me that although the future is scary and uncertain, I must keep moving on. I must continue to do what I believe and know to be right, and not only hope for things to work out, but have faith in that scenario. There is a big difference between wishing for things to go your way and having faith in God's plan for you while moving forward with what you currently know. So, my husband will continue in his education, we will both work when we can, we'll try to stick to our budget and remain financially stable, and we'll prepare for the not-too-distant day when we will have children. Because I know what I want the most. 

So, back to the revamp. With all the fear for the future, (aka supporting my husband through school, trying to avoid student loans, having a child in this world and attempting to be a good parent, etc) it's easy to be set back and discouraged. The other day I was totally having a freak out when I realized I was graduating with a B.A. in English and had little idea of how to find a job after graduation, or even what I wanted to do with my degree. And yes, I've heard the all the critiques on Humanities majors and their lack of ability to find a job outside of the fast food world. But from this day forward, I choose to shape my own destiny, and not to fall prey to the negativity of the world. Does this mean I'll expect rainbows and butterflies and free money after I graduate? No, but it does mean that I will not let negative opinions around me preventing me from succeeding. 

With that, I'm now searching carefully for helpful internships that will make me more marketable, I'm revising my resume and lastly, doing a lot of self-assessment and soul searching. Because the better I know myself and what I want, the more aptly I can shape myself into what I want to become. My options include working in any type of editing, teaching at a charter school, obtaining higher education through an online process, teaching piano, secretarial positions, etc. There's a lot I know I can do, and just because I didn't major in it doesn't mean I can't have a job dealing with it. So that's my plan, and I'm sure I'll have to shape and adjust it many times over, but I know what I want and I'm determined to get it. Will being a mother with a husband in school long-term be hard? Of course. But it will be, and that's the beginning of what I want.



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